Searching for Beauty

The time of Lent is upon us. The first week is coming to it’s end. It’s been a little over a year since I abandoned church-bound religion. I’ve left it behind, not for good, but for now.

My search, my journey, I only thought I chose it. I’ve learned that it chose me, and was given to me by my lover, Christ. I learned how to seek Truth and Goodness this past year. So many claim to have both, because they believe their interpretation is the only one that is right. I’ve been that guy. I freely admit that. Turns out that the Truth of everything is bigger than I could ever comprehend. So I turned to goodness. It was there that my deconstruction continued, as I sought things that are good, and again, it turns out, that Goodness is bigger than I could ever comprehend. Now, that’s not to say not to try to do this. Search for them! It is good to search for these things. I still do. I’m not ashamed to say I have not arrived. It’s a journey. I’m not caught up in getting somewhere anymore, but rather with experiencing life right where I’m at. To this end, I am learning to seek out Beauty. But now, I expect this to be also, bigger than I can comprehend.  So on my journey, I seek now, three virtues: Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. Religion has some mix of both, Truth and Goodness. Unfortunately, many of us, because we have these two things, become hypocritically ugly. Angry. Condemning. Judgemental. But.. We lack even the barest hint of beauty. These three virtues all go hand in hand.

The ancient greeks, in their amazing ability to seek and learn, contemplating the wisdom, believed this: We have three virtues which we like, and desire, simply because of what they are. We want Truth, because it is True. Goodness, because it is good. Beauty, because it is beautiful. The Early Church also believed like this.

It is for this reason, that I have begun seeking a theology, a knowledge of Christ, that is beautiful. For God sent His beauty, invading the ugliness of human society, to reach out to humanity. He became Human, weaving our being into His Trinity forever more. Then we murdered His beauty, in our ugliness. We tried so hard to cover it up, because we couldn’t handle it. We preferred, and to this day still prefer, our unholy, and ugly alliance between religion and government. That is what killed our Savior. But then God, the Father, said Hah! Check this out..

And on the third day, Jesus returned from the dead. The beauty of the Son of God marked forever by our need for violence. Yet, His beauty, even in dying by crucifixion, has rang forth, calling out throughout the universe! Father Forgive them! For they know not what they do!

We have stripped the beauty, and the wonder, off of the tale of Christ. We, humans, especially here in the west, like to make things make sense, even in the most absurd sense, that we find ways to claim something insane makes sense.  But I now, prefer to strip off the sense, seeking the beauty in the absurdity of the stories.

My Bridegroom preached, and lived, the way of Peace and Forgiveness. Both concepts, He took to the extreme, and made abundantly clear that there were no exceptions to His teachings. None of the stuff made sense. Choosing to provide mercy to a woman caught in adultery, when Jewish texts and traditions both called for stoning her to death. Now we want to stone people we disagree with on how things should be believed or interpreted. We can’t wait to let religion change the teachings of our savior, to give us reasons to make exceptions to the path of Christ. Let’s return together to His way of living.

~The Christian Mystic