Somethings have come to mind that I do, and need to continue working on. Friar Bob has pointed many things out that the Christian Mystics do, within the church, that doesn’t sit well with many others within the church. Now then, it’s time for my confession. Most of us are very firmly contemplative. I am less so, and more analytical than many of us. Of the mystics, the analyticals fit in better, because the analysis is extremely easy to understand for those within the confines of the church body, no matter the denomination.
However, in my efforts to fit in with the local church body, I gave up a part of myself, or at least I tried to. I gave up my contemplative nature. Well, not really. More like I put it in a box and sat on it. Regardless, this was wrong. I’m not meant to fit in. I will always see things from a vastly different perspective than many of the people I am surrounded by. I am not vastly unusual, there have to be other analytical mystics out there. Knowledge is precious to us. However, experiential knowledge is even better.
I tried for a while, to be just an analytical Christian, seeking to experience things the way the local church body does. However, when I have asked the same as they do, I still got different responses from my Father on this. Vastly different. Quite truly, I don’t experience things the way most of them do. I’m not wired that way. I can’t fit inside the box. Not any single box of any denomination. But I am more than that. I’m more than an analytical Christian, more than an analytical Mystic.. I’m also a contemplative Mystic.The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but go together hand in hand. The two help to bring balance to each other, and cutting one out brings snarkiness, and crankiness. Tis a bad thing to do. So now I will cease to do this.
I’m going to let go of my need and desire to conform to the box of the church world and what they deem acceptable.. To be myself.