Marriage – A Union of Equals

Marriage, from the unlearned perspective of a newlywed and soon to be parent.

The Bible speaks plainly on this subject, in multiple places, new and old testaments alike. One thing people tend to miss is that people can be equals, but only one of two equals can make the final decision on any matters. Sometimes this means to compromise, other times it means exactly the opposite. Let’s break this down into bits an pieces to explain what the Bible says about marriage.

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This is repeated in Matthew, Mark,  and Ephesians. My first point I take from this verse. Most bring this verse as a reference to becoming sexually one person. In other words, if that were in fact the full extent of the verse, it would be saying  that we men would cleave to our women and have sex. And while that is, in fact, what happens in a marriage, quite often, it is not all. If that was what God intended to say there, it would say that a man would leave his parents, and cleave unto his wife, and know her. That is how the Bible refers to sexual intercourse.  So while that is one aspect of marriage, it is by no means what this verse is saying.  It is one little, though enjoyable and beautiful, portion of a marriage.

When the bible is referencing a union, to become one flesh, God is saying that we literally are to become one.  When He created the flesh, He combined with it spirit, mind, emotions, drive, and purpose.  In short, we are to put aside our ungodly desires, to serve eachother in the roles God intended for husband and wife. When we become one, it is a symbol of the unity of soul, spirit, emotions, passion, purpose, and drive. Ever wonder why the first thing to go when the parents argue and fight is physical affection? I did. But it comes down to that lack of unity, being torn apart like that in a fight, takes the two apart. It removes the physical act of becoming one, because they’re not even feeling one at all from the fight. Yes, fights happen in marriage. It’s called being human. Marriage puts two people with their own selfish desires into a union which requires them both to sacrifice for the other, and often times the selfish wants get in the way of that. Which produces fights. Again. We’re humans. And since the Garden of Eden, and the fall of humans into sin, we’ve never been able to achieve complete peace and surrender in our lives. But the garden story is another blog altogether.

A man shall leave his mother and father to cleave to his wife, and the two shall be one flesh.

Everyone sees this and they think its a beautiful thing, but lets consider the flipside of this. A woman shall be taken from her mother and father to cleave to her husband, and the two shall be one flesh.

No, theres no verse in the bible that says that, but it shouldn’t need said. It is literally the flip side of the verse that talks about a man leaving his family to start a family. What all this means, this unity, it is in there the way that it is to show God’s order for a family. The man makes decisions. BUT, where men tend to go wrong, the woman is his helper. God said in Genesis that it is not good for a man to be alone. So he created for us a helper, a woman to marry and to be with. He knows that we men will just keep going and going, without thought for ourselves, to just work ourselves to death and do it all. He knows we can. But he declared that we should have help, and that we should take care of ourselves as well. And in later writings on marriage in the Bible, it tells us to take care of our wives, to love them as our own flesh because what man hates his own flesh? There  are things only men can do. Likewise, there are things only women can do. Personally, my favorite example of this is childbirth. A Woman can do this. painfully, but a man cannot. It is a biological difference. We each have a different role in marriage, but one thing from scriptures is plain: The man and his wife are to be equals in their marriage.

So far we have covered what it means to be one flesh, and yet we have barely scratched the surface of what marriage is.

Now, the marriage union is a great and wonderful thing. A gorgeous thing. Satan despises things of God like this, and seeks always to tear married couples apart. He does so in subtle ways, often using those people around the couples if he can. Before you know it, gossip begins, secrets start being kept, all on the advice of people close to ya. The faster he can subvert your marriage, the happier he is. Satan wants to keep men from understanding dominion, and will push back, hard as possible, when you study the concepts. He will attempt to distract you by sending foolish ideas and notions to people around you to get your ear. He will use people to try to go around your wife to get you to agree to whatever they want, or they will go around you to get your wife to agree to what they want.

For this reason, communication is huge in marriage. If the two people are already on the same page, they can’t be misguided in such a manner, so that when one says no, the other doesn’t go ahead and say yes. Communication is also huge in becoming unified in everything. Again, sex and physical unity are beautiful, but also only a small part of the marriage union. There is so much more going on than I can begin to explain, and there is so much more still to come, for this newlywed.

 

~Paul

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